'Peace' rally?

I am so frustrated. I am a pacifist. I do not support war. I do not support violence, but at the same time I do not support refusing to take responsiblity for our actions as a country. Recently there was a rally in downtown Chicago. It was billed by some as a 'Peace' rally. It was not. It WAS an anti-Bush, anti-war, pull our troops out NOW, rally. I cannot support that. While I do not agree with war I also do not agree with the thought that we should withdraw all troops NOW. We have a responsiblity to the people of Iraq now that we have come in and destroyed their lives. To leave now would just fortify our reputation with that part of the world. There must be a time in which we as a counrty say "okay what we did wasn't done for the right reasons but we are here and we will take responsiblity for what we have done." I am a Mennonite, I am a pacifist, that doesn't mean inaction, it means much action not for war but for peace. True peace is SO much more than the absence of war. It is people working together to live in harmony. Puting others above themselves. Making sure the needs of your neighbor are met as well as your own. Teaching those who don't know how to survive, to thrive in a full life. Being aware of the injustice around the world, making sure you are not contributing to that injustice. Thinking and caring about that which is outside of your small sphere of being. It isn't hard once you get started it is just really hard to get started. Marching and yelling about how bad Bush is, and how evil the war is doesn't change a thing and it doesn't help anyone. I support my president (even though I don't like him), I support my counrty (even though I don't agree with many of our policies), I support our troops, (even though I do not believe what they are doing is right or just). I pray for all three of those things everyday. I am a Christian, I am a Pacisfist, I am an American. I am proud that I can claim all three of those identities.

Appeasement....

Okay people, MLE has made a good point in that it is my blog so shouldn't there be pictures of me? Well while it is a good point I counter with it IS MY blog so I can do what I want!!!! :) But in the light of fairness here is a pic of Em and I at the river last Saturday (march 11) We had fun.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here is hoping everyone is wearing green or if not that their friends don't pinch too hard! (As you can see Em and I went down to watch the Chicago River being dyed green this past saturday. It was kinda cold and windy, and I made a goof on the time we needed to be there so we had to wait quite a while until the festivities actually started. But Em was a trooper and I never in a million years would have thought that a simple green and white feather boa could make her so stinking happy. The river being dyed....it was the coolest thing. If you ever have the chance to see it make sure you do it is fascinating. So anyway....Happy St. Patricks Day to each of you.!)

So much undeveloped...and forgotten

I have so many stories in my head. So many situations, scenes, purposes, characters, relationships, morales, so many many things in my head. A certain storyline and group of characters will fill my head and I can't get rid of them until I write it all down. I sketch out they bare bones of the storyline, I flesh out each character, give them names and histories, I jot down how these people lives will cross. I get it all on paper and out of my head. It then lies there on the paper like a fish on a river bank, gasping for air, flopping in desperation, trying vainly to continue to breath and stay alive. But slowly the flopping grows weaker and the gasping dies away until stillness claims it.

I have recently gone through all of my computer files and done some 'housecleaning' I ended up deleting SO many just begun, half done, and never finished stories. Today I was going through my desk drawers again (I am DETERMINED to get rid of more of this junk!) and have found yet more papers with characters looking back at me wondering if this is the day I will give them a life or throw them away. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. I really wish I could afford treatment for my ADD. I know that I am coping with it as well as I can but I KNOW there is SO much more I could do but I get in my own way when trying to do it. I WANT to be organized, i WANT to be able to complete a task without going through five other things in the course of getting the orginal one done. I want to be able to think up a list of stuff I need at the store and remember it long enough to go get paper and pen to write it down. I want to be able to remember what my sister told me this morning before she went to work. Often times I can't remember what she told me but i remember it was important and urgent. I want to be able to think of something while driving that I need to call and tell my mother then be able to remember it when I am no longer driving and can call her. I want to remember where I put something that I need. I want to complete one project before starting another. I want to be normal. (Wow I never thought I would say that.) So anyway, I hope you are all having a good Tuesday. The weather here is beautiful, blue skies, sun shine...never mind that it is only 33 degrees. :) Enjoy the day God has giving to us.

Random Dreams

So as is usually with me I have already ditched the 'today I feel...' thing. I never stay the same long. Which kinda leads me into my random dream.
I want to open a day care with my sister Emily. It would be a teaching type of daycare, where our activities would also teach them things. Like how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way without the kids ever knowing they were being taught anything. Emily has so much training and experience with creating that sort of ciriculm that it wouldn't be hard to do. We would have finger painting and crafts and make sure they knew how cool each of them was. Teach them to use their imaginations, not expect others to entertain and stimulate them. We would listen to Hymns for a kids heart and read about the people who wrote the hymns. We would teach them about recycling (you are never to young to learn how and why to recycle) we would plant flowers and watch them grow and change. Oh the things we would do! I have NO idea how to go about getting started. Liscensing, insurance, funding....it is all scary and daunting. I guess I will have to pray and pray and pray and educate myself on the reality of this, and if it is feasiable. But at the same time I don't want to do that here in Chicago. I would want to move away from here to do it. Ahhh the things that are in my head. IF only I could do them all. The random picture is one fo my favorites. IT read TRUST is not being afraid even if you're vulnerable. Have a splendid day everyone.

cold noses...

today I feel...a bit sleepy, very cold and a bit hopeful as well.
You know how when your toes are REALLY cold and you get into the shower/tub and the warm water hits 'em and they feel like they are on fire as if you have actually stuck them in boiling water???....weeelllll....you know you have a really cold house when you go wash your face at hte sink and your nose does the same thing! My poor nose. I woke up at 3 a.m. and my mind wouldn't shut up and let me sleep. I kept worrying that i hadn't done something that needed to be done or that I had done something that shouldn't have been done. (you know what i mean, right) Anyway it was a long while before I could get it to shut up and let myself relax enough to sleep again. I went grocery shopping and got prolly five days worth of food for $20. I pride myself in bargain shopping. Well ok it was actuall $21.06, but $20 is close enough, right? I played guitar today for like 30 minutes with out major pain in my finger tips. Woo-hoo, my callusis are gaining strength. Okay so I think that is all the random brain stimulating stuff I have for y'all...oh wait yesterday and today one of my main tasks was going through every folder in my computer and doing some sping cleaning....let's just say that my computer was running a bit low on useable space....it is now happily functioning at a speed which is satifactory to me. Let me tell you I was amazed and the JUNK I have been keeping in this machine. Tomorrow I go through all my picture files and TRY to spring clean in those too. (we'll see if I can actually make myself get rid of pictures) May God bless and Keep you.