Upheaval...

Why is it that sometimes people who mean well at the start of somthing end up tromping on peoples toes with combat boots? There is a difference between doing something nice for someone and overhelming them thereby giving them a sense of powerlessness. A living room is beign redecorated. The people doing it (we will call them the Givers) have heard the Receiver say several times over the last couple of years that "I think i would like the living room painted, it might lighten it up in here. It would be nice" But the Receiver never did it. So the Givers thought "Hey lets get together and re-do the livign room for the Receiver!" They did this because they love the Receiver. However they never consulted with the Receiver, never asked what colors or when it would be good to do it. The Givers just did it. Now the Receiver is getting ready for a house full of company this weekend. Receiver cleaned hard in prep for this now the house is in upheaval and it is a mess. Now the Givers are going to be done tonight (Thursday) so then they can clean and put everything ot rights, however the Receiver is feeling VERY overhelmed and at a loss, not to mention that Reciever isn't feeling like this is a gift of love any longer. It has turned into somthing that was forced on her withotu her knowledge or permission. I just am at a loss as how to talk to the Givers. I want to let them know that Thank you for doing this in love but here can you see how it became very bitter for the Receiver? Arrggg.